Profile Evening

We got invited to a Profile Evening and it was weird.

That probably comes as no surprise. An evening where profiles of children awaiting adoption are shared and discussed and promoted – how could that ever not be weird? So yeh, it was weird. 

There were a few tables set up with those stand-up boards resting on the tops, and photos of children pinned to them. There were Social Workers dotted around ready to give you all the information about the children. There was bad tea and coffee. There were packs handed to each visitor containing profiles of all the children, ready to be leafed through and considered. It had a similar vibe to an unsuccessful Craft Fair.

Ahead of our visit, Hubby and I were fairly pessimistic about the evening. We were holding out little to no hope that we’d find a profile that matched our criteria, mainly because we are waiting for a small baby. Still, we went. Partly because it was something to do, it made it feel like something was happening as much as anything else. 

We did find and chat about one profile, not quite right for us but close enough to pique our interest. In the end it ended, for us anyway, but it was something, for a week or two. 

On reflection, I do have mixed feelings about the Profile Evenings as a whole. It felt a bit wrong to be looking at photos of vulnerable, needy children - some of whom had probably been waiting months and months. It was sad and heartbreaking and painful to walk past with a glance and a brutal 'no' and nothing more. But you can't personally be the solution to every story. 

And the photos... there's something about the photos. Manipulative isn't quite right, but surely anyone would agree that a photo invites an emotional reaction. No-one would admit to being put off by a photo, but I bet plenty of people would admit to being drawn in by a child's smile or a twinkle in their eye. There's nothing wrong with that! Nothing at all. But surely it means the opposite is true too...? Which just feels weird. I'm not sure what the solution is - include no photos as a rule? Maybe.

I suppose they must be worth it, these Profile Evenings, otherwise the Services wouldn't put them on would they? They must serve a purpose. And if an evening like ours ends in a happy match between a child and a parent, then that's wonderful. But I think for Hubby and me, it will go down as a slightly uncomfortable evening that didn't do us much good!