This is really happening

What to say about meeting her for the first time?

Well. She is cute as a button. No, she really is. She is slightly wary of us, and the first time we went she got a little shock and turned to stare at Hubby every time he laughed. She's a great player - we spent a whole morning today just on her play mat, toys galore. She reaches for things she wants, and does these funny commando rolls which make me want to add my own "Kapow!" sound effects. All of a sudden, she's rolled to the other side of the mat. She loves crinkly noises and puts everything into her mouth. In her, Bounce has found a true dribble soulmate!

We took Bounce, two days ago. He loved every minute of it. Well, that's not strictly true; he moaned once but it was a fake moan. He was straight away himself - none of his customary feigned or genuine shyness. He found foster dad's jokes hilarious and spent the whole time giggling. He was completely thrilled with the baby, and she seemed to reciprocate his feelings. He covered her with her mat, threw teddies at her, teased her with dangly, jangly toys, and wiggled his toes in her face (apparently her favourite thing!) It was a really fun, special first meeting - we don't really think it could have gone any better for either of them.

Today we had our first 'official' intro session and we spent the morning there. It went well and we had a good time, but it was a bit odd because we spent the whole time just in one room (apart from going into the kitchen for lunch). I am keen to get out for at the least a walk or even just a gander in the garden. Hopefully tomorrow.

At the moment, it still feels like we are getting to know some new friends, and we spent the morning at their house today. Baby doesn't eat much yet, and her napping routine isn't really a routine. These are the main things that I am trying hard not to feel anxious about. Naturally, I'm worrying that she will never, ever learn to eat and will never, ever get into a routine. This is exactly what I didn't want to do, exactly what I didn't want to be like. I have wanted this for such a long time, and I always look back and see how annoying it was that I got uptight about Bounce's developmental stuff when it always turned out to just 'be a phase' (obviously!)

And so this time I really want to enjoy it - all of it. Even if it takes us a few weeks of difficult nights or her not eating very much - I want to just ride that wave and find things within those situations that are special and happy and worth valuing. I don't want a tricky element to colour the whole thing, and I know that that is a tendency I have.

So for now I am working on being relaxed, non-uptight, and optimistic (and yes I'm annoyed with myself that these are things I am having to work for). We're having a baby!!